I want to stick my p in your. b.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
