Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
