At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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