Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
