Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Green mimosas i think yes
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
