Whod you bang
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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