he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
