great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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