i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
