i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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