it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
