yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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