a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
