This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
