We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Randomize