fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
