I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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