If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize