My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
