The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
