ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize