Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
