It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
