Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
