Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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