ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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