Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
