I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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