Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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