I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
