I wannas sexs uuuuu
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dick very happy bro
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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