SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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