I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
