There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize