Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
