my mouth tastes like poor choices
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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