She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
