he shaved USA in his pubs
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
