how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
