just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
