their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Randomize
