ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
