that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
