This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
No subtext here. People are naked.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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