Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
someone owes me an orgasm
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
