you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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