he thought i was a dude.
I wish i was in the wii world.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
