Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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