do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
