You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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