i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
