yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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