Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
