Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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