I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
