i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize