if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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