You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
