i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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