she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
As shirtless as possible
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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