Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
