I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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