Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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